Listening – tips
- Never criticize while listening, and never attack another person for his or her feelings.
- The more difficult listening becomes, the more important it is to listen.
- Remember that when your counterpart feels that he or she has been listened to, he or she is much more likely to listen to your ideas.
- Postpone an important conversation if you are not in the mood to listen. It is better to not talk about it if you are not ready than to try to force through a conversation where you are too distracted by emotions, worries, and other things that prevent you from listening.
- Avoid phrases that imply that you have not listened fully to the points communicated to you such as “Yeah but…” Instead, learn to use phrases that provide confirmation that you have heard the other side fully, such as “I see. Now tell me what you would say to this…”
- Keep in mind that sometimes we need to listen “between the lines,” but there are times when we need to absorb things at face value. When we listen intensively, our minds are often busy placing what we hear into the situation and our emotions, which creates barriers to our ability to listen fully what is being said. This is similar to making judgments and drawing conclusions before all has been said. Don’t do that. Take it at its face value and go with the flow.
- When you look at the person you are listening to, look into their eyes. This shows that you are 100% focused on them, and not distracted by other things going on. Avoid staring or looks of disbelief.
- Try and be optimistic as often as possible.
- Never poke fun at or ridicule the person you are listening to.
- Avoid trivializing. Avoid comments like, “Thousands of people have this problem so don’t worry about it”.
- Avoid parroting by repeating the sentences word for word. This can be quite annoying to the person you are trying to listen to.
- Refrain from telling or imposing advice.
Listening to You 